**For those of you who don’t know me, I was a political science major and graduated from a state-school whose politics and government program has no national standings, but is accredited. Not that means anything to you, because I could tell you I’m the queen of fucking England and you wouldn’t believe me. But I both loved and hated my chosen major, since I loved the subject, but hated just about everyone around me, and if you asked me today whether or not I’d ever run for political office, I’d kick your teeth in and rape your mother. You’re also probably aware now that I use pretty offensive language too, so if you have a problem with that, don’t go any further, you fucking baby.
I read a lot of this stuff in this article, but I changed it around a bit, this guy is cool:
ALSO I’M A RED-COMMIE, SOCIALIST, ANARCHIST, SATAN-WORSHIPER WHO LIKES TO EAT BABIES, HAIL SATAN! But I do have a special spot in my heart for bubble baths and Mariachi music.**
“I think Capitalism is more important than Democracy…the US constitution does not guarantee happiness.”
-Stephen Moore, Wall Street Journal
Obviously, one of the biggest stories hitting the news right now is the seemingly “orchestrated” efforts of the Occupy Wall Street Movement. The fact that people finally seem to be getting angry about the state of our country gives me hope. It makes me hope that the apathy left over from Generation Y and the beginning of the Millennials will dissipate and the younger generations will take interest in economic regulations, investigate where their money going to, understand how to live within their means, or at the very least check out other news networks other than FOX, MSNBC and CNN.
I hear often from acquaintances and friends who may not be as interested in the OWS movement often asking “What are they protesting?” I can only explain to them in the simplest of ways, not only because they’re not watching the news, but because I don’t know what to say. Because, in a sense, I don’t exactly know what their goal is.
Yes, I understand why their protesting, there are a bunch of douchebags on Wall Street, who we feel, have anally-fisted for the last time and turned us into spending-lemming puppets, but how can we get congress, the president, and -most of all- these bull-riding, fat-cats to finally listen when we say “I’m a human being, Goddammit, my life has value!” ? Even many of my friends who are well-educated and have been following the OWS movement can’t answer this question.
So, let me get a few things out of the way and then we can talk about what we can do make the Occupy Wall Street Movement more effective. Maybe.
- Liberals, fucking check yourselves. The bailout was first defeated, and the stock market apparently plunged, because most of the most of the American people called their representatives and told them to vote no for the bailout. So Hank Paulson created a deal with the Democrats. They delivered the bill for the bailout to President Bush, and within days, congress gave the banks the $700 billion + that they needed. So stop blaming the Republicans for all your fucking problems. Democrats are just as greedy for money as the Republicans, they’re just sneakier about it. They’re assholes, no doubt, but I at least have to respect them for being forthright about their assholishness.
- The current system is designed to fuck us. It just is and really, the only way that things are going to ACTUALLY change is a revolution. A real revolution. And, if this is what you truly want, then you need to prepare yourselves to sacrifice A LOT. I mean not just the occasional trip to the mall or maybe not going to Whole Foods anymore, but an entire revamp of your way of life. This idea needs to be put into your head, or at least you need to start dealing with that concept. We are for the most part, fucked, at this point.
- I’m gonna steal a little bit of Fight Club philosophy for this next point. (SIDE NOTE: I like this book, but I hate people who read this because their kind of like mid-level hipsters, you think you’re cooler than everyone else, but higher-level hipsters think you’re low-brow.) YOU are not a special snowflake. You are not your things. You are not Irish, black, a woman, or a man. You are a human being, and there is nothing, absolutely nothing that makes you special. Got it? You are the scum of the Earth.
- The men in the buildings outside which you are protesting are laughing at you. That’s what they’re doing in there. You are a constant source of entertainment to them.
OK, let’s get started. OWS: this is how you can be more effective.
- TAKE A GOOD HARD LOOK AT YOURSELVES: Hey, you: in the NorthFace jacket. With the iPhone. And the Mac. And the Burkenstocks. Yes, you. What do you have with you out there? Wow that’s a lot of nice…stuff. Get rid of it. All of it. I mean, keep your clothes on, you’re probably pretty ugly. You can still use a brick phone to call that chick from San Francisco that you met in that free-trade, organic coffee shop that you fingered and you’re sure you two were meant to have the perfect indie-romance (she’s moved on, by the way for that bassist-guy). Oh, this whole pretentious attitude of what philosophy you’ve read, what kind of music you’re listening to, and what level of veganism you’re at? Get rid of that too. You may have a better understanding of why that dick is going into your ass, but that doesn’t mean you’re not getting raped.
- TALK ABOUT THE SAME SHIT: We get it, you’re pissed. And you have every right to be. But what you should be doing with all of the people power you have right now (and I know AT LEAST one of you guys is a computer whiz) is creating a database for everyone at OWS with specific goals and agendas for each day you protest and what kind of messages you’re sending to the public. For example: Try and organize people all over the country on the same day to become aware and maybe, oh I don’t know, sign a petition or DO SOMETHING YOU CAN ACTUALLY SEND TO CONGRESS to:
-try and reenact the proposal in which congress struck down First Amendment efforts to limit funding from private organizations to candidates; this would discourage big business from entering politics.
-encourage politicians to hire aides and council through a legitimate merit system instead of what Reagan did (and what he actually started), which was inviting council from companies that gave him vast donations (his chief of staff was from Merrill-Lynch).
-place a limit on campaign spending by the candidate
There needs to be a more concerted effort to have a congruent and strong message from OWS protestors. You guys suck at this.
(In this database, you should also put down the information of local, state and national representatives for each area where there is an OWS protest going on.)
- PLACE COMPANIES UNDER PRESSURE: What do you do when that prick kid who has a ball tells you that he doesn’t want to play with you anymore and takes his ball away? You go out and find a new ball. Sooner or later, he’s gonna creep up to you and your friends at some point and asks if he can play again. Only this time, light that kid on fire. There’s a lot of free shit out there, you just have to find it or create it. I hate Microsoft, for example, so you know what I do? I use Open Office, a free program for word processing, slide show presentations, spreadsheets and so much more. I also live in New Orleans and this allows me certain luxuries, like fruit all year round. There’s a website that tells you where free, public-domain fruit is all around the city. You can just get up and go and get yourself a God damn orange on Walnut Street if you fucking want it.
Network within your movements as well to find free stuff. You never know who may be protesting along side of you who may be willing to offer some food, know where there’s a public garden, or cheap or pro bono work (Even maybe some evil lawyers and money-hungry doctors! Ga-Gasp!). Ask permission to put this information in that database I was talking about before you do it, OK?
- DIVIDE AND CONQUER: I’m sure a lot of you must be pretty comfortable in those tents of yours, however there’s more you can do to try and correct the system than just being super cool in the area you’ve been permitted to sit in by your First Amendment Rights. But you’re not reaching out to people who need to hear the message. Canvas. Build relationships with NGOs and non-profits in the area that have the same concerns that the movement has (especially if they’re in good, government standing). But don’t pick out any regular Joe-Shmo to do this. Pick debaters and people who are ready for an argument and who can arm themselves with information from all sides AKA your devil’s advocate (maybe a disenfranchised law-student? They’re usually good for shit like that if that haven’t developed a drug or drinking problem).
- GET UNCOMFORTABLE: This is going to be my last point and you’re not gonna like it. *DISCLAIMER: I do not encourage violence in any way, shape or form. At least, not yet.* A big part of the reason this movement isn’t working the way the protesters want it to is because you are allowed to protest. Permits are in place and because of the wonderful First Amendment you’re allowed to assemble. You’re gonna have to perform acts of civil disobedience. You’re gonna have to be arrested, and you’re gonna have to experience pain. Mace in the face, kicking, beating, and humiliating pain, and you MUST lie there and take it. You cannot fight back. The acts need to be decided on a national level in that wonderful database that I keep harping on about so much. But they need to be decided by a few leaders of the movement, and very, very carefully.
This is what I can write right now. Most of the stuff that I’d luck to discuss here I can’t, either because I’d get in trouble or I’m just gonna get mad, like how we should nationalize the federal reserve, institute anti-lobbying legislature, and place new regulations on banks and trade. But I’m exhausted.
The only other piece of advice I can give to you is that all of us need to start being more accountable. We can no longer make excuses for poor behavior, or provide reasons as to why someone is behaving badly. At some point we must learn to recognize that a person’s actions are their own, even if they are the result of some trauma. This applies not to just the jerks on Wall Street but to you, the reader. There is no excuse for irresponsibility, for drinking too much because you’re depressed, for fucking without condoms cause you didn’t get the love you needed as a child, for needlessly spending to fill up that gap because you’re boyfriend broke up with you, and especially for cruelty and malice towards each other when right now we must unify and stand strong. Because thing are gonna get worse before they get better, and tough times do take account for our emotional problems.