**For those of you who don’t know me, I was a political science major and graduated from a state-school whose politics and government program has no national standings, but is accredited.  Not that means anything to you, because I could tell you I’m the queen of fucking England and you wouldn’t believe me.  But I both loved and hated my chosen major, since I loved the subject, but hated just about everyone around me, and if you asked me today whether or not I’d ever run for political office, I’d kick your teeth in and rape your mother.  You’re also probably aware now that I use pretty offensive language too, so if you have a problem with that, don’t go any further, you fucking baby.

I read a lot of this stuff in this article, but I changed it around a bit, this guy is cool:


ALSO I’M A RED-COMMIE, SOCIALIST, ANARCHIST, SATAN-WORSHIPER WHO LIKES TO EAT BABIES, HAIL SATAN!  But I do have a special spot in my heart for bubble baths and Mariachi music.**

“I think Capitalism is more important than Democracy…the US constitution does not guarantee happiness.”
-Stephen Moore, Wall Street Journal

Obviously, one of the biggest stories hitting the news right now is the seemingly “orchestrated” efforts of the Occupy Wall Street Movement.  The fact that people finally seem to be getting angry about the state of our country gives me hope.  It makes me hope that the apathy left over from Generation Y and the beginning of the Millennials will dissipate and the younger generations will take interest in economic regulations, investigate where their money going to, understand how to live within their means, or at the very least check out other news networks other than FOX, MSNBC and CNN. 

I hear often from acquaintances and friends who may not be as interested in the OWS movement often asking “What are they protesting?” I can only explain to them in the simplest of ways, not only because they’re not watching the news, but because I don’t know what to say.  Because, in a sense, I don’t exactly know what their goal is.

Yes, I understand why their protesting, there are a bunch of douchebags on Wall Street, who we feel, have anally-fisted for the last time and turned us into spending-lemming puppets, but how can we get congress, the president, and -most of all- these bull-riding, fat-cats to finally listen when we say “I’m a human being, Goddammit, my life has value!” ? Even many of my friends who are well-educated and have been following the OWS movement can’t answer this question.

So, let me get a few things out of the way and then we can talk about what we can do make the Occupy Wall Street Movement more effective.  Maybe.

  1. Liberals, fucking check yourselves.  The bailout was first defeated, and the stock market apparently plunged, because most of the most of the American people called their representatives and told them to vote no for the bailout.  So Hank Paulson created a deal with the Democrats.  They delivered the bill for the bailout to President Bush, and within days, congress gave the banks the $700 billion + that they needed.  So stop blaming the Republicans for all your fucking problems.  Democrats are just as greedy for money as the Republicans, they’re just sneakier about it.  They’re assholes, no doubt, but I at least have to respect them for being forthright about their assholishness. 
  2. The current system is designed to fuck us.  It just is and really, the only way that things are going to ACTUALLY change is a revolution.  A real revolution.  And, if this is what you truly want, then you need to prepare yourselves to sacrifice A LOT.  I mean not just the occasional trip to the mall or maybe not going to Whole Foods anymore, but an entire revamp of your way of life.  This idea needs to be put into your head, or at least you need to start dealing with that concept.  We are for the most part, fucked, at this point.
  3. I’m gonna steal a little bit of Fight Club philosophy for this next point. (SIDE NOTE: I like this book, but I hate people who read this because their kind of like mid-level hipsters, you think you’re cooler than everyone else, but higher-level hipsters think you’re low-brow.) YOU are not a special snowflake.  You are not your things.  You are not Irish, black, a woman, or a man.  You are a human being, and there is nothing, absolutely nothing that makes you special.  Got it?  You are the scum of the Earth. 
  4. The men in the buildings outside which you are protesting are laughing at you.  That’s what they’re doing in there.  You are a constant source of entertainment to them. 

OK, let’s get started.  OWS: this is how you can be more effective.

  1. TAKE A GOOD HARD LOOK AT YOURSELVES: Hey, you: in the NorthFace jacket.  With the iPhone.  And the Mac. And the Burkenstocks. Yes, you.  What do you have with you out there?  Wow that’s a lot of nice…stuff.  Get rid of it.  All of it.  I mean, keep your clothes on, you’re probably pretty ugly.   You can still use a brick phone to call that chick from San Francisco that you met in that free-trade, organic coffee shop that you fingered and you’re sure you two were meant to have the perfect indie-romance (she’s moved on, by the way for that bassist-guy). Oh, this whole pretentious attitude of what philosophy you’ve read, what kind of music you’re listening to, and what level of veganism you’re at?  Get rid of that too.  You may have a better understanding of why that dick is going into your ass, but that doesn’t mean you’re not getting raped.
  2. TALK ABOUT THE SAME SHIT:  We get it, you’re pissed.  And you have every right to be.  But what you should be doing with all of the people power you have right now (and I know AT LEAST one of you guys is a computer whiz) is creating a database for everyone at OWS with specific goals and agendas for each day you protest and what kind of messages you’re sending to the public.  For example: Try and organize people all over the country on the same day to become aware and maybe, oh I don’t know, sign a petition or DO SOMETHING YOU CAN ACTUALLY SEND TO CONGRESS to:
    -try and reenact the proposal in which congress struck down First Amendment efforts to limit funding from private organizations to candidates; this would discourage big business from entering politics.
    -encourage politicians to hire aides and council through a legitimate merit system instead of what Reagan did (and what he actually started), which was inviting council from companies that gave him vast donations (his chief of staff was from Merrill-Lynch).
    -place a limit on campaign spending by the candidate
    There needs to be a more concerted effort to have a congruent and strong message from OWS protestors.  You guys suck at this. 
    (In this database, you should also put down the information of local, state and national representatives for each area where there is an OWS protest going on.) 
  3. PLACE COMPANIES UNDER PRESSURE:  What do you do when that prick kid who has a ball tells you that he doesn’t want to play with you anymore and takes his ball away?  You go out and find a new ball.  Sooner or later, he’s gonna creep up to you and your friends at some point and asks if he can play again.  Only this time, light that kid on fire. There’s a lot of free shit out there, you just have to find it or create it.  I hate Microsoft, for example, so you know what I do?  I use Open Office, a free program for word processing, slide show presentations, spreadsheets and so much more.  I also live in New Orleans and this allows me certain luxuries, like fruit all year round.  There’s a website that tells you where free, public-domain fruit is all around the city.  You can just get up and go and get yourself a God damn orange on Walnut Street if you fucking want it. 
    Network within your movements as well to find free stuff.  You never know who may be protesting along side of you who may be willing to offer some food, know where there’s a public garden, or cheap or pro bono work (Even maybe some evil lawyers and money-hungry doctors! Ga-Gasp!).  Ask permission to put this information in that database I was talking about before you do it, OK? 
  4. DIVIDE AND CONQUER: I’m sure a lot of you must be pretty comfortable in those tents of yours, however there’s more you can do to try and correct the system than just being super cool in the area you’ve been permitted to sit in by your First Amendment Rights.   But you’re not reaching out to people who need to hear the message.  Canvas.  Build relationships with NGOs and non-profits in the area that have the same concerns that the movement has (especially if they’re in good, government standing). But don’t pick out any regular Joe-Shmo to do this.  Pick debaters and people who are ready for an argument and who can arm themselves with information from all sides AKA your devil’s advocate (maybe a disenfranchised law-student?  They’re usually good for shit like that if that haven’t developed a drug or drinking problem).
  5. GET UNCOMFORTABLE: This is going to be my last point and you’re not gonna like it.  *DISCLAIMER:  I do not encourage violence in any way, shape or form.  At least, not yet.* A big part of the reason this movement isn’t working the way the protesters want it to is because you are allowed to protest.  Permits are in place and because of the wonderful First Amendment you’re allowed to assemble.  You’re gonna have to perform acts of civil disobedience.  You’re gonna have to be arrested, and you’re gonna have to experience pain.  Mace in the face, kicking, beating, and humiliating pain, and you MUST lie there and take it.  You cannot fight back.  The acts need to be decided on a national level in that wonderful database that I keep harping on about so much.  But they need to be decided by a few leaders of the movement, and very, very carefully.

This is what I can write right now.  Most of the stuff that I’d luck to discuss here I can’t, either because I’d get in trouble or I’m just gonna get mad, like how we should nationalize the federal reserve, institute anti-lobbying legislature, and place new regulations on banks and trade.  But I’m exhausted.

The only other piece of advice I can give to you is that all of us need to start being more accountable.  We can no longer make excuses for poor behavior, or provide reasons as to why someone is behaving badly.  At some point we must learn to recognize that a person’s actions are their own, even if they are the result of some trauma.  This applies not to just the jerks on Wall Street but to you, the reader.  There is no excuse for irresponsibility, for drinking too much because you’re depressed, for fucking without condoms cause you didn’t get the love you needed as a child, for needlessly spending to fill up that gap because you’re boyfriend broke up with you, and especially for cruelty and malice towards each other when right now we must unify and stand strong.  Because thing are gonna get worse before they get better, and tough times do take account for our emotional problems.


New Post

Hey everyone, twatwaffle here.

Just wanted to let everyone know I just added my second post! I love to hear feedback so don’t be shy!


Thanks for reading,


First Fundraiser a Success!!

VHB’s first fundraiser was a total success! We raised almost $300.00 for Las Mujeres Latinas en Accion!

All of that money plus all of the other canned donations, etc. will be dropped off on Monday, September 26th. All of that money will go directly towards helping women in the Pilsen area.

Special thanks to Carly Heiser, Tim Valenta and Tony Cox for their great performances! We couldn’t have done it with out you.

VHB and all involved thank all who attended. We appreciate your enormous generosity!

Stay tuned for more VHB events and discussion! :)

Living Breezy in the Big Easy

I posted this on my other blog, vagnola88 too…whooo

I woke up this morning around 9 A.M and decided to cook a large breakfast.  I turned on some Andrew Bird and quietly made sweet tea, surprise bacon and eggs for my boyfriend.  It has been a few gorgeous days in New Orleans since Tropical Storm Lee; the weather hasn’t been this cool and pleasant probably since April.  The sky was (and still is) bright blue and the slight breeze danced through the giant leaves of my banana trees in the backyard.  My roommate too, awoke and we began to cook together, pleasantly joking and talking and enjoying a lazy Sunday morning.

We found ourselves afterwards sitting in the living room watching the Count of Monte Cristo when all of a sudden we heard a sound.  Jazz chords and a horse neighing (?).  The three of us ran to the balcony and found a second line ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_line_(parades)) outside rounding the corner of Carondelet and Martin Luther King.

It’s one of the things I love most about this city.  You wake up some days and there’s an immediate party outside.  Now, realizing today IS September 11th, that’s probably what the second-line was commemorating.  The purpose of second line’s are to celebrate what has moved on and celebrate the life’s transition into another form of energy.  At traditional jazz funerals, the second lines have a small period of quiet reflection when leaving the church and entering the cemetery , but most of the time it’s a party, and participants dance down the street and/or  join the musicians with their own instruments.

The model of the second line should be applied to many models of living.  There is a time to grieve, be quiet and reflective, yes, but we have to move on and try and not let the past keep us in despair.  Americans in general spend too much time grieving.  Not saying your allowed to miss someone, or reflect upon the life-altering experiences we’ve gone through, but what good does this do?

September 11th was a horribly sad day for so many thousands of innocent people who lost their lives, and we should preserve their memories.  Is it too much to ask that we do it with love for each other, music, laughter and celebrating?  Is it too much to ask that instead of rallying a belligerent American spirit (which, I’m sure thousands today are doing) and trying to move on from that pain and focus on what’s right in the world?

I know.  I sound like that hippie that spends too much time smoking pot in their parents basement, and trust me, I’m not that girl.  You’ll see in my future posts that I’m one of the harshest and most critical females to roam this planet.  But aren’t you tired?  Aren’t you tired of being angry, being afraid of an enemy that you will most likely never see?

We just “celebrated” an anniversary here in New Orleans a few weeks ago; August 29th was the anniversary of when Katrina hit six years ago in 2005.  1,800 people died as a result of the storm.  Even though much of the city was in ruins, Mardi Gras in 2006 went on, just as planned.  You may say whatever you want about this city, but you cannot question its indomitable spirit, and willingness to thrive under the harshest conditions.

Last year, after the Saints won the Superbowl, and things seemed like for the first time in five years to be looking up for the city, BP’s Deepwater Horizon exploded off the coast of Louisiana, creating the worst environmental disaster EVER in history, killing millions of animals, abruptness ecosystems, and destroying thousands of ways of life in the Gulf Coast area.  Now, it seems only fitting that TODAY, September 11th which marks the day of a tragedy is the last day of the seafood festival in which we celebrate life back in the Gulf Coast.

There is still much work to be done since the storm and the spill.  There are still 60,000 blighted properties in the city of New Orleans, and still reports of tar-balls and oil sheens still on our beaches and in our marshes.  But the people of this city still find small ways to celebrate, through music, dancing, food, and especially though their families and friends.

Many people who don’t live here wonder why we should bother even saving New Orleans, and there’s one simple explanation for that, because New Orleans knows how to grieve better than any of you could ever live.

Go out today and have a drink with your friends, and dance to some music.  Get carried away.  Do something nice for yourself.  Stop grieving.  Start living.

There is a saying that is really quite commonplace and trite,every tourist says it and you start to hate it after a while, but I find it quite fitting for today: laissez-les bon temps roulez, let the good times roll.  This party aint stopping just cause you died, baybeh.

Welcome to Vagina House Blog!

Thanks for coming by, we’re glad you’re here. Take a look around and see what we’re all about. Stay tuned for the interesting topics that will soon be available.

Here is a short intro to our blog editors:

avaginaabroad is a woman of action. She travels, she learns, she acts. She is also an artist and through this- would love to have an impact on the women’s movement.

bitchwrinkle is a wrinkled bitch that loves to bitch and will bitch until wrinkly.  She plays video games, is a licensed bartender in the state of Illinois, and is often mistaken for a lesbian for her love of short haircuts and things of the “manly” nature. Also, her dog Scout is the best ever.

fecundcunt is a 20 something year old student studying fine art. Her work creates a satirical connection on what a woman is and what she is supposed to be. On her time off she enjoys playing with her small, white pussy.

twatwaffle is a 23 year old almost college grad living in Chicago. She is a feminist with specific interest in how feminism and politics affect one another.